- Eliza Cook
This morning was rough. No, not because of the little one - Case was perfect. Not because of anyone. It was rough because I went through the majority of Case's cloths and put more than half of them away. Not just away for the winter; away for good. See the little guy is getting bigger each day and his cloths from last winter won't fit him this winter...no matter how cute they are. The thing is though, it isn't really boxing up the cloths themselves that made this morning rough. It is what storing away the cloths actually symbolizes. Case is not really a baby anymore. I call him my baby, but I will always call him my baby. I won't ever get Case back at 6 months or 9 months or even 12 months. His entire first year of life plus a couple months has already passed me by, but where did it go? As much as I wish that I could get back certain moments or certain ages in Case's life, I can't. And what about all the other special memories I have that I associate with particular little outfit's? Like his FIRST Christmas outfits that were given to him by his Grandparents? His first guitar onesie especially picked out to impress his daddy? And maybe most especially his baby blue quilted overalls with a little train on the front that his Great Grandma Rule gave him last Christmas? I suppose I will always have those memories, right? But it is still hard, very hard, to box up those cloths and store them away.
I am sure that I have shared with you all that I want a little brother for Case. Not because I don't want a little girl, because I do. I want both (not at the same time though!). I want another little boy that can wear the Twins & Illini cloths from Uncle Kyle that Case once wore. A little boy who can wear one of the 30 or so sleepers my mom mailed to Case or the adorable little Easter outfit Dane's mom gave him. I want this so that we ALL can reflect back on those "good old times" again.
Although I believe I have come to terms with the fact that my little boy continues to grow up (and quickly), I am also pretty sure that each time I look back at the times past I will ALWAYS want those moments back. My guess is I am not alone in this; such is life, right?
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| 8.26.2009 - Happy BIRTH-Day Case! |
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| 2.26.2010 Happy 6 Months Case! |
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| 8.26.2010 Happy 1st Birthday Sweet Boy! |
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| 11.5.2010 His most recent portrait...maybe he will smile next time! |
Oh Kristen, isn't that the cry of a mom's heart. We want our kids to grow and experience life, but at the same time we really don't want them to grow. I find myself constantly praying "Lord bring back this moment when I need it most". I know He will. Take lots of pics and before you know it, you'll have another little one for the Illini outfits and sleepers!
ReplyDeleteSo glad you are blogging!